A month had passed since I slowly got used to this
new life in Eriva Village. A typical day consisted of waking up at dawn to do
combat practice with Lang or Borso, followed by a hearty breakfast at Borso's
place. Then, the three of us would spend the whole day in Emerald Forest, about
an hour's walk away from the village, until about late afternoon where we
report at the Guards' Headquarters to submit our spoils (if any) for the day.
The rest of the day was free time.
Ever since I left the Medical Hall, I’ve been staying at Borso's place. Initially I was worried about having
no money for living expenses, but this kind hunter not only taught me the ropes
of being a hunter, but also prepared a roof over my head for free. I must repay
his kindness one day. Lang and Borso - I truly thank God that it was these two
that He sent to take care of me.
Aside from my hunter job, there was one
thing that became something of a daily routine. Because the
Medical Hall was located close to the center of the village, I would often drop
by to see if there was anything I could help out. I wanted to help
Rafaera, or her colleagues, as gratitude for saving my life. Secondly, learning
about herbs and being exposed to different sorts of magic were very enriching
experiences for me. The other healers and staff there were already familiar with
me, so it was much more accessible than places such as the smithy. And lastly...
After hunting one day...
"Hey Rike... It has come to my and
Borso's attention that you would visit Rafaera after each hunt. Why?"
'Lang oh Lang, why are you suddenly so attentive to details when you're usually
so nonchalant!!'
"Oh, I was just turning in some
herbs and monster materials that she requested time to time." 'Oh God.
Please, be convinced by that.' Lang seemed satisfied and didn't say anything
more. I let out a very tiny air of relief so that he wouldn’t notice.
"Oh, really." Borso laughed a
laugh that wasn't a laugh, and smiled a smile that wasn't a smile.
"...."
That day, I didn't dare to deliver the herb request I got.
__________________________________
It's been nearing 50 days since I first
came to Eriva Village. While things have settled down and I've slowly come to
view it as a safe haven, I still had a lingering sense of uneasiness.
Lang and Borso were both very hospitable and generous towards me (though sometimes they deserved a beating). The Village Elder and the villagers
didn't discriminate against
me, although I was an outsider. Even the Hunting Master told
me that I had talent in the hunting profession. Life was going great, and I had almost forgotten what the
white-robed man said. Yet it still felt like something was missing in my current reality -
something I couldn't describe, perhaps because of my memory loss. Though there
wasn't anything I could remember to compare this to, I couldn't shake off that nagging uneasiness.
Together with the uneasiness, I also felt
like I wanted more space for myself. Like the current lifestyle was too
dependent on others, and I wasn't comfortable with that. The villagers all knew
one another like one big family, and even if one day they really treated me
like one of them, I doubted whether that was something I could get used to. I guess, somehow I was
never a 'communal' person; I wanted to go off on my own.
Maybe, that's what made me want to find
out more about Rafaera. From what the Elder mentioned, Rafaera was an
adventurer that visited this village 6 months ago and had stayed here since as a Healer. I wanted to hear her story and know her thoughts - which she didn't
really speak much of. There was a sense of... kinship, perhaps? I had a little hunch,
even hope, that she might be able to relate to the two things I'm feeling.
__________________________________
At the edge of Emerald Forest was the
South Sea. Sometimes I would drop by there to gaze at the ocean while
collecting herbs. There was one type called the Violet Seapelt, which grew at the
edge of the forest, very near the sea
Each time I drop by the beach, I would
be mesmerized by the unpolluted sight. A crystal blue sea that looked like
flowing blue lava, melting into a blanket of
white-gold covering of sand: truly a glimpse of heaven's beauty! The softness of the sand had even made me consider spending a
night there.
One particular day, I was out
collecting herbs as usual. (Lang and Borso would help me if they had spare time
or felt like it, but today I was doing it on my own.) 'About half more to go.
Gotta be faster.' Glancing at the dark clouds floating over the forest, I
quickened my pace. I really, really, really didn't want to be caught in the
rain.
Unfortunately, nature was more proficient at its job than me. A heavy rain soon fell, and I was almost drenched. While
slogging in the weather and feeling miserable, suddenly… "<<Wind Shield>>". A
familiar voice rang nearby, and there was a layer of wind above me that
repelled the falling raindrops away away.
"Hi Rike. Thanks for the hard
work." That voice upped my heart-rate a notch.
"Hi Rafaera. Ummm... thanks a
lot!. What brings you here?" Frankly, I found it very hard to look at her
face when talking to her. But
my mood dampened by the rain instantly lifted at her arrival.
"Just taking a little break from
work today. Oh, I didn't expect to bump into you here. Shall I help you with
the collecting of herbs?"
"Oh! Yea, sure. That'll be really great." No reason to refuse, right. The rain could get stronger anytime. And it felt like today's Rafaera was different from the usually quiet her.
__________________________________
An hour later, with the effort of two
people, we finally completed the request of the Healer Master.
"Thanks a lot. That's about it,
shall we start heading back?" It was almost evening time soon, and the
trip would take almost an hour even if we rushed. Seeing Rafaera nod, I began
navigating the route back.
Unexpectedly, at that moment Rafaera
exclaimed: "Hey, did you see the sky!!!" It was the first time I
heard her sound so excited. When I turned back to look at her, she was already
half-running towards the beach. 'What's with the sky?' I never saw this side of
her before, so I followed her to the beach.
By then, the rain had already stopped
and the clouds were no longer dark. Now I understood why Rafaera sounded so
excited. It was a scene of beauty: the setting sun lavished the entire sky in a
layer of velvet, and the clouds were as though audiences that sat around the sun in a musical concert, whereby the stage was the amethyst sea
and the star of the show was the marigold sun. That view literally took our breath away.
Even the beach looked like a red carpet for us to gape at this heavenly scene.
I now knew what that missing thing was in my current life in Eriva.
It's that desire for freedom and exploration, to see the vastness of creation: the infinite
sky, the endless plains, the towering heights, the boundless seas and even more.
My soul was convincing me that, in the life before my memory loss, I knew freedom and unrestrain - that feeling of adventure that I ran in my blood - and
even now, I must experience it here and then. The wilderness and vastness of
creation! Else, life would be bland.
And just as I thought that was an amazing sight
already, God had an even greater surprise for me. I was standing a
little ways behind Rafaera. Just at that moment, the sea wind blew towards
us and with that also blew my mind and took away whatever little breathe I had
left. Against the backdrop of the velvet sky and sea and the radiant setting
sun, her long, black, partly-permed hair, fluttered in the wind - having life of their own, singing, dancing, and celebrating carefreely – and Rafaera closing her eyes and
smiling serenely, taking in all that beauty in creation. That scene was even
more stunning than the previous one.
After a while, I felt my lungs being
very uncomfortable for a strange reason. 'Ah, I forgot to breathe.'
"Isn't that amazing?" Rafaera
finally said softly, after moments that seemed like eternity.
"Do you like nature a lot?" I
felt like kicking myself after I said that. Wasn't the answer obvious.
"Mmhmm. I came here just to see
this. Yea, it is so impressive and amazing sometimes. Probably all the time
actually, if we do actually notice it. When I see that the world is really so
big, I can't help but think that it's so cool."
As a 25-year-old, there were many
decisions I had to make in life. But never had I ever needed, or saw the need
for, so much courage to make this decision. And I had never lamented my
lack of courage until then. But I knew, in the depth of my soul, I would surely
regret it if I didn't do what I did next.
"Rafaera, I heard from the Elder
that you're going to leave Eriva next month to continue with your
travels." I was sure that my voice was quivering.
Rafaera looked me, and nodded.
"Yup, I was going to do that. Why?"
I solidified my courage, opened my
mouth and moved it, awkwardly. "Would you take me with you? I want to
explore this world too...." ‘With you.’ I wanted to add that, but couldn’t muster the courage to say it.
Rafaera didn't reply immediately. She
stood with her back facing me and gazed at the sky. It felt like time stood
still while I waited. Only my ridiculous heartbeat reminded me that that didn't really happen.
"I'm sorry, I think at this point
I would want to travel on my own. I want to go on at my own comfort and pace,
and I don't think I want to bring someone along with me, nor do I have the
capacity to bring anyone with me either." Rafaera said that with some
difficulty as she looked at me, and I felt that I understood more of Rafaera
today than the past month combined.
I must admit, at her reply, half my
courage vanished and I felt a sinking pit in my stomach. But, I was painfully
aware that I'll probably never get another chance like this again; to meet
someone like her ever again. I couldn't tell since when I became so interested in
this person, who had the same black hair and non-green pupils as me in a world
where everyone else were so different. I didn't even know her for that long. Was it.... love? I couldn't be very sure
yet, but I didn't doubt
that there was some feelings already. I prayed to God for courage, and re-summoned whatever
was left there in me, opened my mouth, and forced it to make a sound.
"Umm, then would you let me go
with you just to the first destination? I’ll do my best to not be a burden to you. And if when
we reach the first destination I'm really a nuisance to you, then I'll travel
separately from then on. I know that you have your own pace that is different
from everyone else. It's okay, if we take months or even years to reach there at your pace. But I still want to know your pace. And someday, match mine with
yours."
After saying that, I immediately began sweating profusely. 'I really hope she wouldn't think I'm just asking the same thing.' I
really didn’t want to pressure
her, or ask her to make a commitment she wasn’t willing to. I just wanted to understand Rafaera
better, and for her to understand me a little more. I was really serious about her being able to go at her own comfort and pace unhindered. I never imagined that someone's pace could be so important to themself, and I really wanted to protect her and her pace. And I thought that this
second request was something more appropriate given her own circumstances. So
in my heart I prayed to God earnestly, that she would understand where I was
coming from.
“Well…”
